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| Ellie lounges in her bouncer seat while she watches some football. |
I had just started making dinner when the crying began. Ellie, watching me from her bouncer seat, wasn’t interested in cooking. I tried stalling her with the usual tricks, but she wasn’t buying them. As the crying grew louder and the dinner started to burn on the stove, I got desperate.
In my moment of desperation, and what was certainly not one of my finer parenting moments, I scooped her up, bouncer seat and all, and sat her down on the living room floor directly in front of the TV. The Chiefs game was on and immediately, Ellie was hooked. The crying stopped, her eyes got wide and she zoned in. I know screen time for young children, especially babies her age, is strongly discouraged. I swore I’d never do it. (For the record, her TV time ended after just a few minutes.)
But, as I finished cooking dinner to the sound of her cooing at Peyton Manning, I was once again reminded how difficult it is to follow all the “rules” of parenting. With being a new parent comes a load of unsolicited advice, as well as a long list of recommendations from more parenting organizations than I can name.
While the lists of recommendations can be overwhelming and sometimes silly, I studied them religiously before she was born. I’m big on following the rules. I like to be prepared and I hate feeling that I’m doing something wrong. So, when I found out I was pregnant, I went straight from the doctor’s office to the bookstore. I read the baby books and the blogs. I installed five different baby apps on my phone. I joined the new mom forums online. I prepared.
But, as I quickly learned, there is no way to really prepare yourself for parenthood. Because, even though you’ve read the recommended safe sleep practices a dozen times, eventually, you’re going to sit down in the recliner at 1 a.m. with your newborn who absolutely refuses to sleep anywhere but in your arms, then you’ll wake in a panic when the sun’s coming up. Sure, it’s not recommended, but it will happen.
When I was pregnant, I probably drove everyone nuts. “I’ll never be one of those moms,” I’d say. “Those moms” who fall asleep holding their baby, or whose infant is still sleeping in mom’s room months later. But, it didn’t take long until all the “I’ll nevers” I uttered in my ignorant, pre-baby days quickly began to fall away.
I have fallen asleep holding her, on more than one occasion. And you know what? She’s almost four months old and just moved into her own crib in her own room a couple of weeks ago. And it wasn’t because I’ve mastered baby’s sleeping patterns or for any other great parenting reason. I would’ve kept her next to my bed and fallen asleep to the sound of her baby snores forever if I could have. It was simply that she physically outgrew her bassinet.
There are so many other “rules,” even minute details, that in my ignorance I swore I’d always follow, but I haven’t. Because, as I’m learning, being a new parent means making up the rules as you go. What works one day might not work the next, and no matter how hard you try, you’re going to mess up. But, at the end of the day, my baby is happy, my baby is healthy, my baby is fed and I have done all I can. My parenting may be a work in progress and I often fall short of the millions of recommendations I’m trying to follow. But I wake to a smiling baby most mornings and I snuggle up to a sweet, chubby girl when I rock her to sleep at night. So while I’ve broken many of the “rules,” I guess I’m doing something right.
